7 posts tagged “book reviews”

I've written book reviews on this blog in the past about books I really liked, but what about the really terrible books that aren't worth a second glance?  In this volume, I'll tackle the overrated classics.  Obviously this post contains SPOILERS, so don't whine to me like a dumbass if I ruined the ending of a book you happen to be reading.

1.  Where the Red Fern Grows

Why does this book suck?  Technically, it doesn't.  It has a decent story-a little boy buys two bloodhounds and raises them as his own.  But it's a terrificly awful book to read as a fifth grader, when the two dogs you become all attached to throughout the story die sad and miserable deaths. One gets disemboweled by a mountain lion, and the other dog dies of a broken heart.  How heavy is that? I mean, Wilson Rawls, couldn't you have killed off only one dog?  But no.  I was stuck reading this crap in both the fifth and sixth grades.  I would have to say that the second time was worse. By then I actually had a red little puppy, Max, and would think about him as I read the book, effectively making it much more depressing.  So since this book made me cry and has a twisted ending about dead dogs, it sucks.

2.  Gulliver's Travels

This is one of the few books I didn't finish in a high school English class. I was supposed to read this book for my senior AP English class.  That class was such a joke.  My teacher used to bitch about how much we students talked too much and never did our work, and after her bitchfest, she'd walk to the back of the room and flirt and talk with the boys for the rest of the period.  As for this book, I just physically could not make myself turn another page. It is one of the most boring books I have ever attempted to read.  The day before the test, I got the Sparknotes and read them frantically.  I got an 85 on the test.  Thanks, Sparknotes!  For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to tell my teacher that I was able to pass her test solely off of Sparknotes.  Cue a lecture to the entire class about how irresponsible it is to read Sparknotes instead of the book and how you're cheating yourselves from the actual story.  Cheating myself out of what, Mrs. C?  INSUFFERABLE BOREDOM?

What gets me is that everyone else I talk to professes their love for this book. 

3.  Grapes of Wrath

You know, this book didn't actually suck...only the first 300 pages did.  In the first chapter, every other word must have been "dust."   Okay, we get it.  There is a lot of fucking dust.

4.  Jane Eyre

I can sum up Jane Eyre in one sentence: "Oh Mr. Rochester, blah blah blah, I love him, blah blah blah."  There's a lot of nonsense in that sentence for you to get the gist of what I'm saying, right?  That's how the how the entire novel is.

5.  The Great Gatsby

Maybe this book sucked only because it had been listed as the 2nd greatest novel of the twentieth century.  Take it from me-it isn't.  What a letdown.

6.  A Tale of Two Cities

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."  To be honest, I can't say whether or not this book sucks, because I never got past the first sentence.

Now it's your turn-what were the books that you couldn't get through in English class?

I've been accumulating a list of books that I've read and I've been entirely too lazy to post reviews.  I'm going to break up these reviews into several entries, so that I won't be on here typing forever.

Still Summer by Jacqueline Mitchard.  320 pages.

This novel can be best described as a cross between Now and Then and The Perfect Storm.   Tomboyish Tracy, her sweet but dumb cousin Janice, genial Holly, and snooty Olivia were best friends in high school.  Olivia moved away to Italy to live a life of luxury while her friends remained in the same town, living within minutes of each other.  The four plan a Caribbean vacation to cheer Olivia after her husband dies, but when Janice has to drop out of the trip unexpectantly, Tracy reluctantly brings her bratty teenage daughter, Camille.  A good half of the novel sunnily depicts the women embark on their seemingly perfect vacation.  This half is admittedly slow in some parts, with only minor bickering between the characters and Camille's romance with a young co-captain providing anything of interest.

Then the novel picks up after a terrible storm leaves their captain dead and the co-captain missing. The four women must depend on their own wits, Camille's engineering skills, and resources to survive.  Their existence is threatened daily: Holly develops blood poisoning after cutting her leg, Olivia selfishly hoardes food, and a gang of drug runners hold the women hostage on their own boat. 

While this novel had enough action in it to keep me reading till the end, it faltered in several areas.  While Mitchard's passages involving the drug runners and the captain were well-written and and Hemingway-esque, the dialogue between her characters was sometimes stilted. Camille's bratty characterization was contrived, and the ending a little off.

Bottom Line: Perhaps meant for a beach read.  B-  

 

What the Dead Know by Laura Lippman.  400 pages.

This novel is an engrossing mystery about the sudden and unsolved disappearance of two sisters, Heather and Sunny Bethany.  The girls disappeared in a shopping mall in 1975 and no trace of them had ever been found.  But thirty years later, a disoriented woman emerges from a car wreck, telling authorities that she is the younger Bethany girl, Heather.  Though she appears to be Heather, something isn't quite right.  But what? While many people, including a sympathetic social worker, seemed convinced that she really is Heather, Kevin Infante, the detective assigned to her case, isn't a believer.  He begins investigating "Heather's" claims-a difficult task, as many of Heather's clues lead to dead ends.  Frustratingly, Heather and her sister Sunny had been adopted, meaning that no DNA test can be performed.  Their father had long since died, while their mother is nowhere in the country.  

The book alternates between the current investigation of the Bethany case and flashbacks to the girls' pasts and family dynamics.  The twist is not so shocking if you really pay attention (I guessed it about halfway through), when you finally find out what happened to the sisters, it leaves an emotional punch. 

Bottom Line: Excellent novel that weaves suspense, mystery, action, and tragedy. A.  

 

I read these books back in the spring, and I've finally written them up.

Ya-Yas in Bloom, by Rebecca Wells. 258 pages.

As a huge fan of the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, I was frankly disappointed at Wells’ sequel.  The sequel, while indulging in the same wacky humor of its predecessor, lacks the oomph of the previous book. Instead, this novel is composed of short stories starring Vivi Walker, her three best friends, Necie, Caro, and Teensy, and their brood of husbands and children.  While some of the stories are fun to read, others are either trite (how many stories will I forced to read about how fabolous The Beatles were and how girls adored them and wanted to be Mrs. Paul McCartney?) or bizarre (the final story, featuring a kidnapping of a Ya-Ya granddaughter, is a forced and rather overt political exercise, in which one of the characters delivers a pompous dialogue on how guns will never be allowed in his home).

While the book has the laugh-out loud moments that remind you how much you love the Ya-Yas (the Christmas pageant scene is the best in the book), the stories are overindulgent, relying too much on the fact that fans from the
Divine Secrets will love its sequel.  But without the charm of the Divine Secrets-the alternating hilarious, warm, and heartbreaking plot that tied the vignettes together-it’s rather hard to.

Bottom Line: Just not feelin' this one, y'all.  C+

Once Upon a Day, by Lisa Tucker, 2006. 352 pages.

23-year-old Dorothea lives a sheltered life than most.  Growing up on a New Mexico ranch, she’s never been allowed to go to school, play with friends, or venture anywhere out of the vicinity of her home.  Her widowed father, who idealizes the fifties, only teaches his children history up to this point, and Dorothea dresses in clothing from the period.  But her life changes when she leaves to St. Louis find her runaway brother Jimmy’s fate after her father becomes sick.  Once she reaches the city, Dorothea meets a young cab driver, Stephen, a former doctor grieving over his dead wife and child.  Together, the two search for Jimmy and fall in love.

Once Dorothea finds her brother, they set out to find their mother’s family, but they do not expect to find the answers to why their family has lived in seclusion for so long.

While some expository history of Dorothea’s family may grow stale after several chapters, the rest of the book is fast-paced, with a fitting, satisfying conclusion.

Bottom Line: Ms. Tucker has crafted an absorbing tale that relates fate, coincidences, love, loss, and forgiveness. B+ 

I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.

For those of you expecting the long backstories of Book 6, NO.  This book starts off with the action right away.  It's heartbreaking at times, but definitely keeps your heart racing.  I was going to read it slowly but I couldn't put it down.  It was just that good.  I can't believe that it's over, but the book is so satisfying, that I'm content.  This was worth the 8 year wait.  Oh man.  This is hands down my favorite of the series. 

I went to the Midnight Party yesterday with my Quidditch t-shirt on and my glasses.  My brother refused to go with me, which was disappointing. I ran into a friend of ours there, where we proceeded to call Patrick up and tell him how much he sucked for not coming. At midnight, everyone cheered loudly when the books went on sale.  It was so much fun being there, with fans, over a book.  I'll never witness that much excitement over a book again in my lifetime, and I'm so glad that I was able to experience it with Harry Potter.  I don't think there will ever be such widespread adoration over a book like this.

I saw one little boy there whose parents whisked him out of the Midnight Party at 11:45, saying that they were too tired to get the book, and that he would have to wait until Saturday. How cruel is that?

By 12:45, I was running to my car (parked in another store's parking lot, since the Barnes and Noble one was packed), clutching my book (I bought a snowy owl, too. Hee).  When I came home, my brother and I talked excitedly for a little while, and he actually took out the 6th book to read with me.  We read until 3 in the morning.

I'm very happy to have experienced something as magical as these books, and I have to give major props to J.K. Rowling for her stunning imagination and attention to detail.  Please, if you've never read the books, just skip the movies and read instead.

    The very first time I picked up a Mary Higgins Clark novel, I was twelve.  Back then, "adult" books were highly appealing, and I read the back of the novel before checking it out.  A mystery story? Check. Relatively thick? Check.  Minimal sex? (I was a good girl).  Check.  The novel was Weep No More, My Lady and I loved it.  I then started reading every Mary Higgins Clark book I could.

    Of course, the more books Ms. Clark cranked out and the more I read, the more the quality seemed to decline.  The dialogue seemed hokier, the plots more unbelievable, and the villains easier to guess.  Now, reading her current books require little thought.  This is very much the state of her newer novel Two Little Girls in Blue.  While the novel has potential, there is nothing memorable about the plot (I only read it a week ago, and I'm still trying to remember the ending). 

    Steve and Margaret Frawley are the two perfect protagonists that Ms. Clark loves to sketch.  They are both attractive, successful lawyers with two perfect little twin daughters, Kathy and Kelly.  One night, as the children are babysitted, the babysitter is drugged and the children are kidnapped with the "Pied Piper" as the mastermind (yes, his name is the Pied Piper.  Yes, you are supposed to take this seriously).  The novel takes the familiar form of past Higgins Clark novels, in which every chapter shows a point of a view of a different character.  We discover that the twins are kidnapped for ransom money by two former inmates and one mentally disturbed woman, who wants Kathy as her own child.  The night the children are to be returned, something terrible happens and only one twin is returned to the Frawleys, with the other presumed dead. But wouldn't you know it?  The twins have a PSYCHIC CONNECTION, and Kelly is able to help her parents realize that Kathy is still alive.  Oh, just you so you know, Kelly has an amazing vocabulary for a three-year old.  Ms. Clark must know some precocious toddlers.
 
    Maybe the book wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the shoddy writing.  Here is how Ms. Clark choses to describe one of her characters: "A recent magazine article had described her as 'sixty-three years old, with wise and compassionate hazel eyes, a full head of finger-waved gray hair, and a rounded body that offers a comfortable lap for babies and toddlers.'" Really? That's the best you can come up with?  And it's not a Mary Higgins Clark novel without SOMEONE uttering or thinking her favorite phrase, "That's a damn shame."  Well, it's a damn shame that this novel was so hastily written and edited.

Bottom Line: A cursory read will tell you that this is not one for the mystery library. D.

I read these books about a month ago, and figured it was time I write them up. I'll start with the good one first.

 

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn.  272 pages.

This twisted little novel is the antithesis of the typical literary debut, but reading it makes you keen to read another from the author.  The atypical protagonist and plot are the book's strengths.  Camille Preacher, an alcoholic with a past of emotional and mental problems, is self-described mediocre journalist, working at a third-rate Chicago newspaper.  When her boss directs her back to her hometown to cover a young girl's brutal murder and the kidnapping of another, Camille is more than reluctant to return to her dysfunctional family.  As she investigates the crimes, she has to reconcile with the town's refusal to cooperate, her own odd family (including her wild child half-sister), and her personal demons.

The novel, while including all the necessary gruesome details of a crime novel, is also a sick family drama.  The story is a page-turner, and while some elements of the novel ring false (like Camille doing drugs with her kid sister), it's worth a read.

Bottom Line: Dark crime novel is a winning debut.  A-

 

This Is Not Chick Lit: Original Stories by America's Best Women Writers by Elizabeth Merrick (ed). 336 pages.

I really have not had much of an introduction to chick lit.  I generally do not like reading novels where romance is the main plot (with some exceptions, I suppose).  The only "chick lit" I can think of reading is The Devil Wears Prada.  (It wasn't as bad as the critics had said it was, but not as good as I'd hoped either. I liked the movie much better.) Either way, I like fiction stories, so picked up this book.

After reading a somewhat vitriolic opening letter from Ms. Merrick, where she decries all chick lit, I began reading the book that boasts some of the "best women writers."  I was left underwhelmed.  Very underwhelmed.  For a collection that boasts the best of the best, couldn't the editor have found some stories that would live up to that premise?

I can think of a couple that I enjoyed.  "Volunteers Are Shining Stars" highlights a troubled young woman volunteering at a homeless shelter.  Some of the stories are quirkily fun reads. "Selling the General" describes a New Yorker's position as a PR woman for the world's dictators.  "Joan, Jeanne, La Pucelle, Maid of Orleans" is a take on how Joan of Arc's story might have been portrayed on a reality show.  But others are either too strange (I remember reading one about a man in love with the government robot he created) or too gimmicky (one story suddenly tosses in a 9/11 plane crash for an ending to the characters).  While Merrick deserves praise for picking unconventional stories, most of them just aren't up to snuff.

Bottom Line: Reading chick lit may be funner and better written. D.

 

This is honestly one of the best books I've read in a long time.  The book, spanning from 1964 to 1989, shows what heartbreaking consequences lay in one rash judgment made with the best intentions.

Dr. David Henry is a newlywed.  One snowy night, his wife, Norah, finds herself in labor.  He calls his nurse, Caroline Gill, and they all hurry to the hospital.  Norah gives birth to a healthy baby boy, Paul, but Dr. Henry discovers that Norah has been pregnant with twins.  She gives birth to a baby daughter with Down's Syndrome.  Norah is anesthesized and doesn't realize that her daughter was born healthy.  Dr. Henry, fearing that his daughter will have the same heart problems that killed his sister, and thinking the impact of having a mentally retarded daughter would be too much on his wife, gives the baby to Caroline to take to an institution.  Caroline, secretly in love with Dr. Henry, bides his wishes.
  
The next morning, Dr. Henry tells his wife that the baby girl had died during childbirth, never estimating the devastating consequences this news would have on his wife.  Meanwhile, Caroline finds that she cannot leave the newborn girl, Phoebe, in an institution.  The pragmatic Caroline makes a rash decision of her own, and decides to leave town, taking the baby girl with her.

The rest of the novel explores the lives of both families after the snowy night.  Norah falls into depression, drinking, and her marriage with David suffers from the untold secrets.  David takes up photography, trying to find perfection and beauty in his pictures that he cannot obtain in his real life.  Caroline begins a cautious courtship with a truck driver, Al, and becomes an advocate for Down's Syndrome children.  The novel explores the messy feelings, entanglements, and concerns that have resulted from that one night. 

The most enjoyable part of this novel was the realism.  The author does not shy away from the emotional consequences that David's act, meant with the best intentions, has brought to both families.  The ending was completely realistic-hopeful, but not happy.  The book is also one of the best I've read in relation to Down's Syndrome.  I read the novel Jewel years ago, and didn't enjoy it.  The book treated the birth of a Down's Syndrome child as ruining the family life-at least from what I remember.  The Memory Keeper's Daughter makes Phoebe a likeable, strong-willed, happy character who is adored by her adoptive parents.  Her condition is treated with hope rather than despair.

Bottom Line:  A haunting saga of lies and secrets that will stay with the reader long after the last page is turned. A+