A Open Letter to the Woman Who Cut Me Off on the Freeway

Dear Woman Who Cut Me Off on the Freeway,

Well, I can't say that I haven't made my share of dumb mistakes when driving, but at least I have the brain capacity to know that texting while driving, especially on a freeway, is so fucking stupid that you should be incarcerated for being that dense.  I guess sending an "Im on teh freeway now, lolz!" message takes precedence to safe driving habits, which is why you not only cut me off, but were going maybe 15 mph slower than I was when you did.  Hey, getting into a collision at 30+ mph was fun enough, so I can't imagine all good times in store if I had rear-ended you at 70 mph.  Thanks for that adrenaline rush-I just love slamming on my brakes, especially on a freeway. Thank you for reminding me why I stopped speeding months ago, because if I had been, your car (and mine) would be totaled right now (at the very least).  Might I make a friendly recommendation?  Please do not operate heavy machinery or make any life-altering decisions until your IQ raises at least another 15 points.

Not sincerely,

Jenny